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Working the 12 Steps in Reverse - Not Good
KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!
Don't Work My Program. Don't Work Your Program. Work THE Program
I Was Going to Complain?!?!
Letting Go

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12 Step Poem
Emotions
Grace
Grateful
Higher Power
Letting Go
Making Amends
Motherly Instinct
Negativity
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Working the 12 Steps in Reverse - Not Good

 
 
My Name is Tom B and I am alcoholic, drug addict. I'm addicted to anything that takes me out of myself, masks my self hatred & fear & allows me to shut down the shopping mall that's in my head. I'm a little over 3 years sober & I've been through the 12 steps, practice them on a daily basis & have taken guys through the steps. Thank God for that.
But lately I've been off my spiritual path, due to work, the death of my girl's best friend & (insert more excuses here).

KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!

  KEEP YOUR GUARD UP!

Sometimes folks need a little help - Whe they can not help themselvesThis past Christmas season I was involved in preparation for a Santa Claus church breakfast for kids + their families! Saturday night we did a lot of prep work, ie: chopping potatoes, slicing, and dicing ham, onions and such for the Sunday 8-12 o'clock event! 

I was the first one to arrive in the parish center kitchen, started looking around for things like potatoes, chopping Knives, etc.. Low and behold Out of the corner of my eye what do I spy! A Styrofoam Cooler!

Don't Work My Program. Don't Work Your Program. Work THE Program


Stories about addiction and recovery, Clean and Sober life stylesFirst of all, I DO NOT claim to be any kind of Big Book guru. I only share my experience, strength and hope. I want to give a big thanks to God, my sponsor Terry M. from Hendersonville TN, Bj B.

I Was Going to Complain?!?!

I was going to get on here and complain about MORE RAIN and MORE WATER in my basement... Blah, BlaH, BLAH... But then, a good friend of mine came to mind, who is homeless. This man is clean and sober, travels around the United States helping other addicts, and is always positive. I slept in a warm bed last night, with a roof over my head, and I have food in my belly today. I woke up clean and sober this morning... God has given me another day!!! Life is never as bad as I sometimes want to think it is. Thank you Bobby Ray for being such an inspiration to me and others... God Bless You Brother!! ~Peace, Love and Light To All!!! ♥ — Darlene T.    

Letting Go


To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about it, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride, and its not about how you appear, and it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To LET GO is to cherish memories, to overcome, move on... AND LET GOD!! It is having an open mind in confidence for the future... Having FAITH in your Higher Power. Letting go is learning, experiencing, and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up and realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. Letting go is knowing everything happens for a reason and its God's plan, not yours! To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and let yourself free to the future... ♥ Darlene T.  

Contagious Disease


Negativity is a very nasty and contagious disease. Remove yourself from all negative people, situations, and things. Choosing to be positive will help you maintain a better attitude, better health, and mind set. Cheryl S.

Cr Adams - There is good in just about everyone...


I feel there is good in just about everyone.. I prefer to find & focus on that part of them. Sure I've seen unkindness.. egotistical.. Judgmental.. thoughtlessness.. etc. Sometimes I have to dig through the murkiness of their masks to find the real person.. It's often through painful lessons I learn. I find my place in their life.. sometimes that place is to be walked on & trampled.. to be invisible until they need or want something.. but I wouldn't have it any other way. It keeps me humble.

Stay in the Solution



Your job is not to worry, your job is simply to do the next right thing! Let God do his job, and you do yours. The universe provides... there is always enough. Things are just as they should be. ~STAY SOBER ~STAY STRONG ~STAY IN THE SOLUTION .... ONE DAY AT A TIME!! ♥

We Say Things We Wish We Hadn't


Sometimes we do things.. say things.. think things.. that we wish we hadn't.. They are all in the past.. we can't change them.. not ever. If we realize our mistakes we can make amends.. we can learn how not to do them again. We only have the moment that we are in now. It's us who have to make it count & make it be the best it can be. Being grateful for the lesson's and improving our integrity.. we give ourselves & the ones around us moments worth remembering.. that were filled with better things.

Wonderful - Beautiful 12 Step Poem


Wonderful... 12 Step Poem: 

I took one step, began to moan I can't do this on my own
I took two steps, began to pray restore me God, today
I took three steps, gave up my will maybe God loves me still
I took a fourth, I looked inside Nothing more would I hide
And on the fifth, I said aloud I've done some wrong, and I'm not proud
I took six steps, and got prepared To lose the defects,
I was scared Now I'm at seven, take them away
God for this
I pray And on eight, the list was long Amends to make for all the wrong

No Motherly Instinct


No Motherly Instinct
Family members used to tell me that I lacked the instinct of a mother. I have a bunch of kids so that hurt. Being lost in the powerlessness of addiction, I was on my own for ten years. I missed doctor’s appointments, first days of school; other people cooked them hundreds of dinners that I should have cooked. Something happened to me in those years that I seemingly could not get back. My instinct was to chase the crack pipe or a bag of dope. It was a part of me. It’s what I did, every day, day in and day out. Devotion to their well- being was a job I lost to someone else. Drugs cripple the mind so badly that while in addiction, I actually told people I had no kids. My mind blocked it out. Rendered powerless to a drug also rendered me powerless to every other broken aspect of my life. Acting as if they didn’t exist was easier for my brain to accept I guess. People say that “their kids helped them get clean” but I can say that knowing that I ruined my kids’ lives kept me using drugs some days. I once went to take a hit of crack and looked down at a picture of my son. I could not take the hit before I turned his picture away from me. I couldn’t stand seeing a picture of them, let alone live and in person anymore. My grandfather grows a huge garden and cans vegetables the old fashioned way every year. I remember watching the process. He said it preserved the veggies for a long period of time and kept them from going to waste. Just like my grandfather preserves food God preserved the good in me as well. We burn brain cells and destroy our bodies in addiction but the resilience I have seen in my life and other addicts is amazing. We are reminded of our defects of character in the 12 steps but our assets are what help us DEAL with the defects. I believe God vacuum seals our assets. Coming into recovery, we break the seal open again. The memory is long. I believe I chose to forget about my kids as a defense mechanism. Forgetting does not erase the memory though. New in recovery I would cry as I started remembering things about them. I remembered my son dancing in the yard as a baby, with a sunhat on. I remembered that he started talking before he was a year old and I called him “the smartest boy alive.” I remembered being proud of him and being very protective.  Vivid memories of all the kids rolled through my mind. Some good, most were bad. The ones of my oldest son are the most prevalent because he was with me for much longer than the others. My younger son and daughters were only with me for short periods of time so I lacked the same connection with them. I kept having kids and addiction placed them with my family. Coming into recovery, I still lacked a connection with the younger ones. When I had 2 years clean and sober I started visiting the kids on a weekly basis. All were happy to see me except for the oldest. He would ignore me during the visits and play computer games. One day I handed him my two year NA key tag. I thought he would be proud that I was clean. Instead, he shrugged at it and tossed it on the table. At three years clean a judge gave me back full custody. My son was in the court room and he smiled when the judge said it. That year, I gave my son my 3 year AA coin. He put it in his pocket. I was glad he didn’t just toss it down. He was beginning to talk to me. He was starting to feel at home. At five years clean and sober, I realized that my son was addicted to drugs. Drastic action on my part had to be taken. Recovery had taught me boundaries. Going to any length for my own recovery taught me to go to any length for my son’s recovery. This meant I had to get out of the way. He moved in with his father and decided to admit he is an addict and start a recovery program. I see him frequently. He looks good and sounds good. When he got a month clean, I gave him my five year AA coin that said, “To thine own self be true.”  He looked at me like he finally understood the significance of the coin. He smiled and placed it on his dresser. How does the song go? Cat’s in the Cradle with the silver spoon…I don’t even know what happened to the cradle I had for my son. If I saw it I’d probably cry anyway. I can’t go back and do it again. This makes me want to make today count though. Today is all we have.  I know I didn’t lose my motherly instinct. The fact that I worry about each and every one, tells me so. The fact that I will go to any length to keep them from traveling the death road I traveled, tells me so. Addiction can only take so much. It couldn’t get my soul. My soul belongs to an even higher power. Thanks to that Higher Power, what was good in me is STILL good and what is good in my son is STILL good, and recovery makes the “Good” even BETTER!

Human Nature

I refuse to believe that on anyone's dying day that they will pride themselves on not leaving a written archive of how they found a power greater than themselves. A written archive that their family and friends can fondly refer to and remember. An archive that a new person or someone still searching can identify to and perhaps help bring a moment of clarity.
People worry of what others might think about them. But Heaven forbid they share what they are about!?!?

I refuse to believe that on anyone's dying day that they will pride themselves on not leaving a written archive behind.

Sick Attracts Sick


There was a guy who was fed up with his hometown, so he takes off to find another place to live. In a small town he sees an old man raking leaves and ask him, "Hey, what's everybody like in this town?" The old man asked, "What was everyone like in the last town you lived in?" The guy said, "Ah, they were a bunch of assholes." The old man said, "Well, there's a bunch of assholes here, too. " So the guy goes on. Soon another guy asked the old man the same thing, "What's everybody like here?

Emotions


Emotions....................... Being sorry for myself is a luxury I can't afford. We have surrounded ourselves with many luxuries to enhance our lives: microwave ovens, big screen televisions, clothes, jewelry, and so on. We may have purchased these items even if we couldn't really afford them- just as long as we could have them and use them. Some of the things that are important to us are our negative emotions: depression, self-pity, selfishness, ungratefulness, or anger. But what if we had to pay for the luxury of feeling each of these feelings?

Old Timers Explain the Psychic Change


It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end. Your goals lend direction to your life. Without them you might flounder, uncertain of who you are and where you're going. Goals can provide you with a source of confidence, motivate you, and give you something to look forward to. Yet at some point, you need to sit back and simply enjoy what you've accomplished. After all, what's the good of losing weight if you can't buy new clothes and show your new body off?