Just Another Alcoholic
My drinking career began at age 14 after 8 years of sexual and emotional abuse. At least that’s as far back as I can remember. I used to sneak liquor out of dad’s secret stash and take it to school with me. I was a typical hippie back in the early 1970’s. I don’t know how I never got caught with the liquor at school, but I didn’t. I did get caught skipping school and fighting. I once beat up a girl because she said something derogatory about my black boyfriend, one of boyfriends of different cultures in my drinking days. I was proud of kicking her butt at the time and had a lot of supporters. I continued on and graduated with decent grades. Don’t know how I focused, but I made it. My dad died a month before I graduated from high school and I was just lost. He didn’t believe in life insurance, so we had none. By the grace of God, neighbors and church folk helped feed us. I couldn’t get into college and was denied VA benefits because dear old dad didn’t wait the appropriate time from his first divorce before marrying my mom, so according to the VA, the marriage was not recognized. Now, I had to deal with being a bastard child. After a long fight, we finally got VA benefits and I entered secretarial school, where I graduated as a medical secretary. I had a friend whose mother managed a convenience store and she hired me. I was robbed at gunpoint twice and worked many double shifts because my 11PM relief didn’t show up a lot of times. Some days, I just had time to get home, get a shower, go to school, and then back to work. During this time, there were many relationships with men – all married, that of course led to nowhere but heartbreak, but this didn’t stop me or my drinking. I stayed home and helped take care of my mom and 7-year-old sister until I was 32-years-old. My two older brothers were gone and had long moved out. Lucky for them. I continued on my destructive path until the age of 35 when I went to work at the VA (how ironic) and met my current husband of 22 years. We had a drinking career together that lasted until I couldn’t take life anymore and attempted suicide. I got only one DUI, but it didn’t stop my drinking. I kept drinking and drinking and drinking and smoking pot until one day I hit the proverbial rock bottom. I picked my sorry, crying ass up off the couch and called AA and almost talked myself out of going to a meeting, but God said I had enough time to get there. That was February 3, 2006 and I have been sober since. I have left out a lot of details in this story because there just isn’t enough room here for a book. But, I recently went through a dry drunk and let me tell you, it was almost as bad as being a wet drunk. I am back on track with my program through the Grace of God and good people that were willing to work with me and be honest with me. No it has not been easy, but if I work my program I stay out of trouble and in touch with the God of my understanding. I couldn’t take the drinking and partying life anymore, because that’s just not living. Now, I can breathe. I can be thankful for my life and the people that are a part of it.
Do I still have problems with people? You bet you ass I do, but through my program I am work diligently on this so that I can live a happy, joyous, and free life, which is so much better than being drunk. So that’s my life in a nutshell. Just your basic alcoholic story of child sexual abuse, emotional abuse, ruined relationships, a suicide attempt, and oh yes there were falls and broken bones in the midst of it all. But if it will help someone else I don’t mind publishing it, because there were people who told their story that helped me get on the track of living life as a sober person. And I truly have never been happier. My life doesn’t come without problems. My husband of nearly 22 years is an active alcoholic, so this is a daily challenge for me and an opportunity to be an example and blessing to him so that he too might find a happy, joyous, and free life. I leave you all with peace.