12 Step Planet - Betty
 - Helping Families with Addictions

My name is Betty, a recovering alcoholic, Debatable as to if i was born alcoholic, who cares, I know i am, ! My life seems to be upside down, iv had times in my recovery i never would,v imagined i,d get through, i did with the help of people like u and my HP, Yes i believe i have a HP 2day, but let me go back a bit. 1st let me say when i did my 4th 5th step, i did it with a priest, he pointed out to me iv totally lost 2yrs, i have no recollection of making my 1st holy communion,school, fam. That i can only put down to the crap that was going on at home, Religion played a big part in Glasgow, still does, not 2 me, my mother was catholic, father protestant, he was disowned for marrying her, anyway there,s 6 of us and it was decided we would attend catholic school, You wont hear me mention my mother much, she didn't like me, First thing i remember was her dressed up smelling awful, me about 4or5yrs old touching the hem of her dress, and her swiping my hand away telling me she was leaving and never coming back.  a year or 2 later she disappeared, i only found out lately she didnt want to have us kids tie her down, she wanted to b one of the girls,So dad kept us all together, he worked , we all had chores to do after school, i was taught by Nun,s, still have nightmares about those cruel people. I met my boyfriend at 13yrs old, he was a pig, but he told me he loved me, id never been told that by anyone, we saw each other every day, threw was a bit of incest going on, my sister was always telling me , uv got skinny legs,arms thick horrible black hair, So if i went over the curfew she demanded my dad slap the shit outta me, which he did, my sis and i slept together, when we were in bed id punch her lights out! The b/friend was a very volatile person, and i ended up hospitalized many times, but iv not even took a frigging drink yet, When i left school, he was 4 yrs older , and working, but a lot of times i would not go to school, id go to work with him, I left school went to work and we decided we,d run away, we did, police found us, i was way underage, another beating followed.......16 we got married, OMG disaster! i was trying to cover up the bruises on my face one night, and i decided that was not going to happen again, i became an aggressive bitch, i wouldn't wait id b asking "what are u looking at"? I had 2 kids, i ended up in prison, all through alcohol !!, i took that at 16, like i said u wont hear me mention my mum often cos i really didn't know her, She had me in tears one night and asking dad why doesn't she like me, "she wants to b u !" We split up & i remarried, shortly after we came to US, this guy had been left the legacy of my youth, he didn't get away with much, we drank fought he got jailed , i got 25 stitches, eventually i took off, we were killing each other, came back to UK kids in school went to collage, worked in bars to make ends meet. By the time i got to AA, i was beaten by booze, in every direction, I was introduced to this recovery program, entailing 12 steps & 12 traditions, didn't make a lot of sense 2 me, but was told bring the body the mind will follow, i was terrified of taking a drink, i had it hid everywhere, the oven was a good place i didn't use it....AA taught me to stand up 4 myself, im a person, i do count, im a mother, g/mother, gg/mother , aunt sister. I sound like the old lady who lived in a shoe!!! next month il b 32 yrs sober, not bad for a aggressive bitch, I love recovery, im always learning, but im not a door mat any longer, I AM GLAD 2 B HERE, AND VERY GLAD 2 B SOBER, ...ODAAT " if i can help anyone "ASK"...TY.....BETTY
Next chapter to follow........

Betty – Part 2   Drinking was my escape and my best friend. I took a drink at 16yrs old 
and felt this "glow", it was wonderful, i could face Goliath,  I 
certainly didnt take it to get plastered, have a blackout, or end up in 
jail, I was  full of fear since i was old enough to feel!    these 
things happened to this introverted little girl who was so full of fear 
and rejection,    My weekend consisted of getting a pay cheque, some 
food, and a lot of booze, a blackout, then being told in the morning 
what i had done the nite before, i was bitterly ashamed when the kids 
begged me not to drink that day,  but i couldn't get them out to school 
quick enough to get on that squirrel cage again,    Not thinking it was 
the 1st drink that would set up the compulsion, i continued being 
"topped up"!    I always had a job, 2 jobs, i needed the money, food 
became unimportant, the kids did not go hungry but it wasn't the best 
either  , My son had no compassion for me at all, to this day he 
deeply resents my sobriety,  says im now a smart ass, better than 
others, not true ,  By this time he was drinking , using etc, i was 
always being called by the police for something or another he,d done, 
he spent a lot of time in prison,  Whilst i was using"  my "mother" 
abandoning us always came back to me, We,d go to her place and she 
either wouldnt let me in or if she did she,d end up jailing me....I 
continued not liking what she did till i came into AA,    I began to 
listen and reluctantly  began to share, i had come to believe she did 
not merit that much importance to live rent free in my head.    Others 
were saying they loved this program, i didn't, i made it very hard for 
myself,  I couldn't do a Top Table (speaker) in case these people found 
out about  the real Betty..  Eventually i did! it was like a ton 
weight taken off my shoulders, i shared so honestly i surprised myself, 
  My "friends" never came back, i was not drinking, but hey i met a 
world full of new ones,    Yes im a recovering alcoholic, and will be 
the rest of my life, we don't get immunity badges, but i can arrest it 
ODAAT,  If i don't lift the 1st drink its impossible to get drunk,  My 
HP is God,  not the god the nun,s threatened me with, a loving God as 
i understand him, i don't need to understand him, he understands me, 
Wishing everyone Peace,  ODAAT....Betty

Lessons Learned in Life  

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