I'm Angie and I am an addict! I say that with pride today for I have 2 years 10 months clean! My life was once a complete disaster!!
I come from a family with great family values. I was the oldest out of us two kids and was probably pushed the hardest to do my best. I don't look at that as a bad thing today but growing up it was horrible! My mom and dad drank very little and didn't use drugs only smoked cigarettes. You could say I was the blacksheep, but hey that's what made me, ME!!
I can remember my first drink of alcohol was when I was probably about 4 yrs old. My parents and grandma would have family and friends over to play cards and have a few beers. I would sneak under the table and grab the cans and drink without them knowing. Nothing really just a cute kid sneaking drinks. Then when I was about 14 I started taking my dads Actifed, I just knew it would give me a little bit of energy while in school. I wasn't harming anyone by doing that. Well that's what I thought anyway. By the time I was 15 I would stay at friends' houses and drink the alcohol, while all my other friends just looked at me. No big deal once again. When high school rolled around I was drinking on the weekends and partying it up!! By the time I was 21 I was an alcoholic and then the drugs came into the scene. Wow, that was a rush for me I started snorting and smoking crank (meth) as it was called back then. I just couldn't get enough!! I had no problem with it though I could stop at anytime I wanted. By the time I was 22 I ended up in treatment but needless to say it didn't work for me!!
So as my using went it escalated as they say it does...snorting and smoking just wasn't enough anymore I began shooting up. That was the one thing that I can say I loved!! I would do anything for a shot of dope. However, I didn't see it as a problem. I became withdrawn from all family and friends who didn't use and even the ones who wouldn't shoot up or seen a problem with it. This was my time, I felt so secure and could do anything I wanted to as long as I was high. It wasn't until I had many of my using friends tell me how horrible I was looking. Tracks up and down my arms that weren't able to be hidden no longer. To the point to where I was so high I couldn't hit a vein. I was so messed up I couldn't function to go to work. This is just like everyone else's story but this insanity continued for 15 yrs. The continuous cycle of treatment, NA, and so on but I just wasn't ready to stop!!
March 27, 2009 I found out I was pregnant and I stopped everything. It crushed me to know that I was 6 weeks pregnant and this fetus survived my using for the past month and half doing 6 to 8 shots of dope a day. I was devastated that I had done that to my soon to be child. That was the turning point that has kept me going to this day. Today I have a healthy 2 yr old little girl and I continue to be clean/sober. I keep a tight net of recovery friends and my sponsor who has been there for me since I got outta treatment 4 years ago. She was there through thick and thin at my worst and now my best!
I'm grateful that I am able to say that I am CLEAN today for there was a time when I thought I was going to die from my using.....thank you for letting me share this!!!!
Lessons Learned in Life
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