12 Step Planet - Angela R.
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Angela, Stories about addiction and recovery, Clean and Sober life styles
My name is Angela R, and this is my story. This is an edited version. My addiction started when I was 35 years old. I a...m 42 y\o now. I was a mother of 6, and was married to a alcoholic husband for almost 20 years. I had started to give up on life and the God of my understanding, because my husband just would not and could not stop drinking on his own. His drinking was driving me insane. I was dealing with 6 teenage children, and it was hard raising them alone, with a husband right there with me who only gave financial support when I needed much more. I realized that I had to change something, so I quit my job, as a CSR and headed off to Nursing School, where I did really well, but the only problem was that I was very dependent on Opiates, and I needed them. I graduated from nursing school, and left my husband moved in with my brother, and they helped me as much as they could. I got my first job, as a nurse but did not stay there long. I meet a new boyfriend that I eventually, found out he had an addiction too. But I did not share with my family of how bad I really was, when it came to the pain pills. It, was my ugly secret, that I only shared with my bf. I eventually, got caught stealing pain-pills from one of my jobs, and I was prosecuted in the courts for this. I had to turn myself into jail, and my bond was $75,000. I notified my family because I did not have a choice then. My mother was dying of cancer. I neglected my children in so many ways, I hurt the people that loved me the most! I stayed in jail for only 3 days, my brothers posted my bond. I checked myself into a recovery center stayed for 28 days, but I went because the TBI, said that it would help my case out so I did. My mother passed away, and dam I really, felt alone. The pain of losing her was so great I started back using days before she died, and went straight to no where fast. I went through being in jail, for the first time in my life, I was homeless, time and time again, no money, full of depression, and wanted to kill myself. What had I done, where did my life go! My daughter lost custody of my grand-children, and even in full addiction I was given custody of them, and when she was able to get them back she did. I was given a Diversion on my charges, and placed on probation for 2 years. I have 3 more months to go and I will be off, and the charges will be ex-sponged from my record, as if I never did this. My nursing license were placed on probationary status for 3 years, still giving me the opportunity to work as a nurse. I went back into recovery September 24, 2013 and I am close to 2 months clean. This time I went out of pure desperation, and hitting a bottom so low that I could only reach up in the air, and talk to the God that I once knew, who had watched over me in spite of my behavior and my choices. I realized that there was a way out! I went into recovery to succeed. I did everything they advised me to do! I was a second timer at this facility and they had no mercy on me! I got out and got a sponsor and I have been working the program to it’s full capacity and more. My life has changed and I have found new meaning. My family still supports me and they never gave up on me. I know they love me now more than ever! I Thank God for the good and the bad! And I remember to surrender my will and my actions to him daily. And I remind myself that I have a disease that has no cure. I know That I am powerless over alcohol and drugs and that my life is unmanageable. I surrender to him daily, and I realize that faith without works is dead! I pray that all who reads this come to understand that we have a disease in our psych and when we change our thinking and give control over our will, and our lives to a HP of our understanding and do our part! Our lives will continue too change! Because this disease does not discriminate! Thanks for listening to my short story!

God Bless You All!